After feeling completely down and out for about a month, I’m finally back to my happy self again! I was reading Hebrews 5 when this verse hit me:
Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered.
Perhaps obedience was the lesson I had to learn here, and to do so, I needed to face my sufferings instead of running from them (and thus creating more pain and anguish). I finally took the courage to face the source of my troubles and fears, and praise the Lord, it has finally been removed! Though the ending wasn’t the happy one I had hoped for, there’s no longer any hatred or resentment left in my heart. It was funny because when I went to church today, Isaac was like “You look pretty chipper for a raining day.” whereas last week he kept commenting on how stoned and sleep-deprived I looked. I definitely could not have recovered from the emotional trauma without God by my side each step of the way. Though I still wonder at times, I am reminded that:
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Yesterday while I was interning at JRP, Frankie told me that she talked to Melanie and that they needed substitute teachers for the weekends and that they might consider hiring me! Of course, Melissa (I really do not like this girl…she’s 13 but likes to think she’s 25 and better than everyone else) has been worried that I might take her place ever since I started interning, but seriously, she needs to stop being so paranoid. Nonetheless, I’d love to get a job at JRP! Frankie will be asking Brittany (the school director) about this today, so wish me luck! :D