A while back I wrote a post on what I did when I was bored, and I featured 3 funny websites that I visited to pass time. It’s been almost 2 years since that post, and while I do still visit those sites from time to time, I’ve found funnier sites since then:
Apparently the autocorrect feature on iPhone often has a mind of its own, and this site features hilarious autocorrects that people have encountered. Some of them are pretty brilliant, and I give props to Steve Jobs for this feature :P I’m tempted to switch to using an iPhone just to see what it’ll autocorrect.
A: How do I take a screenshit on my Mac?
B: Balance and toilet paper?
A: Hahaha, SCREENSHOT!
A: I can’t wait for Halloween! I’m so going to bedazzle your vagina
B: What…the hell?
A: BE VEGETA! Vegeta from Dragonball Z!!
Yahoo answers can be pretty useful to finding answers to random questions, but every once in a while you’ll get some moron asking moronic questions with smartasses providing the answers. This blog/tumblr provides the best of these stupid Yahoo questions asked, and you’d be amazed (and amused) at what you see:
Q: What’s a person from London called?
A: My neighbor is from London and he’s called Rob[1. Every time I see a smartass answer like this I want to give the person a high-five :D]
Q: Has Harry Potter written any other books?
A1: Yes, it’s the one where Zelda saves a princess[2. Win #1]
A2: Him and Frodo are tag teaming to write the next sparkly vampire romance[3. Win #2]
A3: I’m embarrassed to be in your internet presence[4. Win #3]
I wish there was a new comic here everyday, because they’re seriously laugh-your-ass-off hilarious, given that you share the same sense of humor. But even if you don’t, the comics are still pretty funny, and often times there’s a lot of truth in them:
These are pretty straightforward, and I feel like I would only confuse you more if I tried to explain it.
Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream… What now?[5. Anyone who has seen Inception should get this]
Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio
Dear Cedric Diggory,
Vampires don’t sparkle. 20 points from Hufflepuff!
Have you ever visited any of these sites? If so, do you have a favorite? Is there a particular comic/text/yahoo answer that you like from these sites?
Do you have strange random words you find yourself using all the time, to the point where people actually recognize you for using those words and start using them too? I was talking to Rachel online[1. Which is pretty much every time I'm on the computer], and we decided to compile a list of my favorite, aka trademark, words. I came up with the following:
Ok, this I actually stole from my boyfriend, who uses this word obscenely often, so much that I use it now, and so do my friends. We tend to use this word very loosely, so it can describe anything from the lyrics to Mmm, Whatcha Say to Lin Yu Chun’s singing skills to the idiot population online (ex: the obscene girl who stole my layout and gave me beef about it over Twitter).
I love this word, and I love activities that can be described with this word. As a matter of fact, my friend Karen and I compiled a list of scandalous activities for the summer, including, but not limited to: strip clubs[2. I should check this one off, since I already went. Let's just say it was....interesting. And scandalous of course :P], getting tattooed[3. I'm a little iffy about this one, doubt it's going to happen, lol], and being obscene at a karaoke bar[4. I shall leave that to your imagination.].
This is how the words would be used: I would call a guy a fruit because he has a fruity smile. Believe it or not, that’s actually my nickname for this obscene guy that keeps trying to holler at me and my friends. As for what fruity implies…well, I’ll let you guys figure it out. Hint: It probably means whatever you think it means when you think of the word “fruity”.
I got this one from this Mac vs PC ad, and for a couple weeks Rachel and I were banishing guys left and right for being lame, assholes, stupid or a combination of the above. So if you are any of those 3 things, I also banish you. You are banished.
I got this from Rachel, but it just sounded so funny I started saying it left and right. Usually she’d use it in the phrase “I don’t give a squat”, but I just use the word as an insult. So for example, I’d call people a squat, squatface, assquat, squatfruit, or any random combination I come up with. I mean seriously, what kind of comeback can you say if I called you a squatface[5. Don't worry, I'm not calling any of my readers a squatface anytime soon... unless you prove yourself to be one.]? It’s brilliant! :D
That is my list for now, it’s rather short, but it’s not everyday I come by a word that I love. Do you have random words you use often? I’d love to know what they are!
No, I’m not pregnant, or at least I don’t think so, though I did have a sudden appetite increase and am now eating like a mother expecting twins o_o
Back on topic. I found[1. More like saw on my Facebook newsfeed, lol] this site selling these fabulously quirky greeting cards, and I just had to share it with you guys. The site is called FoxyBlunt, and currently they sell a small selection of cards for various events: birthdays, get well soon, and of course, baby showers. Graphic/design wise, the cards look anything but crude/casual. As a matter of fact, if you don’t pay attention to the subtitles of each card, you’d think they’re just like any regular Hallmark greetings. Of course, it’s those subtitles that make these cards so awesome :P These cards kind of remind me of the egreetings from SomeEcards, which I also find hilarious. Anyways, here are some of my favorites:
They also have a selection of some beautiful + equally cheeky wallpapers for download on their site. My current one says “Imagination…is the key to denial“. :P On a housekeeping note, I promise I will start returning comments soon. These past weeks have not been kind to me :(
I have these moments (one too many of them I say) where I’m absolutely bored and don’t feel like doing anything. It’s not like I have nothing to do. Oh no, I have readings for class, homework, exams to study for, update my blog, all sorts of good things, but I just get into one of those moments where I don’t feel like doing anything except laugh at (mostly stupid) jokes and things.
F*** My Life (FML)
This is one of my favorite new sites to visit. Most of the things written are pretty funny (if you’re the mean type like me who like to laugh at other people’s miseries), but I also read them to remind myself that there are worse things happening to other people, that I’m not alone. Shit happens. Seriously.
Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I’d been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a “ha-ha” text message from my ex. FML
Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML
Just a collection of humorous pictures, from the same blog network as LOL cats (I can has cheezburger?). I guess looking at photos and videos of other people/things/places failing makes me feel better. Wow, I never realized how pessimistic I was. I need to find some new hobbies and hang around more chirpy people.
My Mom is a Fob
I don’t think you’ll understand this fully unless you have fobby Asian parents. But even if you don’t, I suppose the stuff they say (or rather, capable of messing up on) is unbelievable. Visit My Dad is a Fob for even more fobby humor.
Just after my parents got married and my mom had only been in the states about 2 years, they went to dinner with my dad’s co-worker and his wife. The check came and there was talk of who would pay the bill. My mom had just recently learned a new term and proudly announced, “LET’S ALL DOUCHE!!!”
I had been single for quite sometime so my mom confronted me about my credit card statement.
Mom: I saw your credit card statement and one entry had “Fall Out Boy” for $80.
Me: Yeah, so?
Mom: Are you calling gay sex hotline?
Me: What is wrong with you?!!! They are tickets for a concert!
For more hilarious signs, check out Dark Roasted Blend.